The Abundance of NOW

The now. The right here. My today. The present. This place, spot, season I'm trying to live in. Not the past, not the future, not the "what if," but the NOW. For everything that it is and perhaps even everything that its not. A combination of influences have set in motion a desire to look for the abundance in my life... the good ... the rich ... the deeply beautiful, blessed things that are true gifts when I'm willing to see them. Ann Voskamp's One Thousand Gifts, combined with some dreams and desires the Lord has stirred up in me, combined with the incredible beauty of this sun-stretch of weather we've had lately, have been instruments used in awakening a piece of my soul that is tuned in to the abundance. The abundance of the now. 

From early in the morning, on the days I choose to get out of bed before the hubs and the doggy... and I go downstairs and pull back all the curtains. And the light pours in. Floods. Glows. As if it had been waiting ... like a child asking for permission and finally being told, "YES. Yes." Light. Air. Day. I'm up! Then the dance of the sprinklers. I have a weird obsession with sprinklers - the sights, the sounds, the knowing that it's making my lawn green. Something is getting done. Something is being fed, given life. Even the lawn needs to be "nourished." Me too. Eating breakfast at the table alone and sipping on iced coffee while the house is still quiet doesn't feel lonely; it's a luxury. Like I'm stealing time before a busy day to just be. To fill. To eat. Something I often "forget," or don't prioritize on my busier days // truly a terrible habit. I'm trying to daily remind my body that it NEEDS nourishment. Spiritually, from God's Word. And physically, from food. Eating whole, good foods. Less sugar, less refined carbs. More fruit, more vegetables, more water with lemon + mint. Making lunch happen. Eating dinner when it's time. Eating a good breakfast. Going on walks... long walks. Time to breathe, time for Michael and I to connect and catch up. The daily. The soul-care. 

But what about the places where the abundance is harder to "see"? Our weekly, sometimes daily conversations about our financial goals... the slow pace... the "doing it right," the Dave Ramsey Way. The getting out of debt (oh I can hardly wait!). The discipline. The choosing. The knowing and remembering and believing that God has blessed us; provided EVERYTHING we need and more; and we are in a wonderful spot in our marriage as we decide NOW to make wise choices with our finances that we know will affect our future. I wish we could get new cars, or buy a house, etc etc. But that's now our NOW right now. We are not "rich," of course... and yet we are. We have an abundance. A good, full, fun, incredible life and we can recognize God's gifts and provision at every turn. The walks we take with our dog in the mornings or evenings, both free of cost and priceless in value ... in a neighborhood we love; with charm and trees and the park and the just-right-length of walking loop that makes us sweat just a little but not too much - that's our abundance. Our daily gift, should we choose to unwrap and receive it. Not knowing how our living situation will pan out over the next few months can tend to creep in and threaten to dampen the gratitude; steal the sense of abundance; or thwart the sense of joy that comes from living right here right now. But only if I choose to let it. I can re-trace my steps and God's hand of provision throughout my ENTIRE life; seeing and remembering that He has always provided me with a home... somewhere to make a home. I trust Him. I trust Him. I do. 

But the biggest surplus, the biggest abundance, the most endless blessing. The knowing and loving Jesus. Lately the old old hymn has just been flooding through my mind and heart, cyclically, repeatedly. Tis so sweet to trust in Jesus. Just to take Him at His Word. Just to rest upon His promise. Just to know, 'Thus saith the Lord.' Oh it's so sweet. To walk to Jesus. To have walked with Jesus since I was a little girl. I love Him. I have resolved to follow Him for the rest of my life. The sweetness that comes from choosing to recognize His faithfulness to me, to me, for the past 25 years nearly brings tears to my eyes. That He sees me; dreamt dreams for me to walk in before I was even capable of imagining an idea; cherishes and prizes me not because I'm worthy but because I'm HIS. His goodness. His protection. His calling on my life. His blessing. His leading. His faithfulness. His power to transform. I can barely stand to think about how much more deeply I might love and know Him when I'm 50... 60...70...80. To know and walk with Jesus for a life time. Oh the abundant life. It's real. I choose that one.