... on mornings

{source}

Nope. This is not how my mornings look. In case you were wondering. 

This is how my mornings look... in my head....when I go to sleep at night and set my alarm for the next day and purposefully plan out all the ambitious things I'm going to do between the moment my head pops off the pillow and the time I head to work. 

Maybe when you saw the title of this post, you rolled your eyes and thought 'Great, another morning person who's going to write about how much they LOVE waking up while it's still dark and do all their best thinking while the world is still asleep.' 

No no, honey. That's not me. Not yet. Maybe one day I'll be able to attest to the beauty of the pre-sunrise life; but today is not that day. Annnnd neither was yesterday. Or, let's see, the day before that. You get it. (Actually, I've started having to/learning to get up extra early on Sunday mornings before church - as I did yesterday - and I must tell you I'm enjoying and appreciating it a little). 

I'm officially: a morning person in training. 

What does this mean? 

It means the morning person in me is still wearing training wheels and pull-ups, drinking my coffee out of a sippy cup {not really} while trying to figure this whole thing out. 

Man. I really have good intentions. Clearly not good enough to achieve my goals of morning greatness and glory. 

A couple weeks ago I started setting my alarm for 7:00 or a little before (I usually don't have to be at the office til 9 or 10)...and then my sleepiness + desire to stay in bed and snuggle with my husband and my puppy kept winning out over my desire to be disciplined and intentional with my morning hours. I'd finally roll out of bed around 7:45...8...8:10...8:20...ahem...8:45. Dangit. 

So...why bother with the mornings? A couple reasons come to mind. 

1. For as long as I can remember when I was growing up, EVERY morning my parents would get up early, whether we were at home or on vacation, and they would spend their "quiet time" with the Lord; poring over Scripture while it was still dark, often times. My mom always plants herself in the living room with her books, journal, and coffee. My dad always spends his cozy, still hour with Jesus in his study/office at home. Sometimes they would share in a prayer time together, which was always equally sweet to observe from where I was eating breakfast or rushing through my morning routing. I'm sure my sister and I interrupted their solitude many times, but they never seemed to mind. Their time with the Lord is not something they are just trying to "check off a list," but rather a necessity. Something they began to do out of need and created into a habit. And to this day, my parents are two of the most devoted, wise, disciplined, servant-hearted, incredible followers of Jesus. I HAVE to believe that their pursuit of Him each day {before everything else begins} has played an undeniable role in developing the depth of their relationships with Jesus - in their individual lives AND in their marriage.

2. God addresses the importance and value of MORNINGS on multiple occasions throughout the Bible. I don't want to ignore that. 

"Let me hear in the morning of your steadfast love, 

for in you I trust. 

Make me know the way I should go, for to you I lift up my soul." 

| psalm 143:8 esv|

"O Lord, in the morning you hear my voice;

in the morning I prepare a sacrifice for you and watch."

| psalm 5:3 esv| 

"And rising very early in the morning, while it was still dark, {Jesus} departed and went out to a desolate place, and there he prayed."

| Mark 1:35 esv |

Is the morning the ONLY time I can spend time with Jesus? Of course not. But I get too sleepy at bedtime, usually, and I find myself having a hard time slowing down once the day is started. For as long as I've felt convicted by the Lord to intentionally create time to spend with Him in the mornings, I'm embarrassed at how long I've been dragging my feet to actually do something about it {mainly out of laziness}. Oh I'm thankful that the Lord is patient with me. It's still a process. Sometimes I wake up and CHERISH the morning - even the simple things like eating a good breakfast and having coffee before I leave the house. And other days, I seriously just don't want to get out of bed. Some mornings I really do need rest, but MOST mornings I'm simply acting out of an apathetic heart and lazy spirit. 

Maybe you can relate. Like I said, morning person in training here. But I WANT to seek & find Jesus in those quiet, still moments. Sometimes I don't like the silence. I'm not used to it. But I want to want to crave the stillness. I want to be more like Jesus. I want to learn to pray early in the morning. To align myself and my heart with HIS before I even attempt another thought, action, to-do list, relationship, or goal during the day. I have learned {too often, the hard way} that if I don't intentionally take time to FILL my soul with Jesus, I serve, lead, and love out of whatever I can muster up. My spiritual/emotional/relational tank ends up empty before lunch time, usually, if I foolishly take that approach. 

I want to LEARN the art of morning stillness. I want to be disciplined. To live on purpose. 

But as I'm learning, I'm so thankful for a God who is able, at all times, to both listen to me and speak to me, to allow me the PRIVILEGE of seeking Him and finding Him in freedom. 

xoxo,

kristin